Holy Spirit 3.0

This summer my computer went haywire.  I think it started with a virus from Facebook.  Every time I turned it on, strange error messages and warning signs came on.  Now, my computer has had a few small viruses before.  And up until this time, I’d been able to download some free protection off the internet to take care of it.  With just a few mouse clicks, the problems were solved.  However, this virus was different.  All these messages like “Your personal information has been compromised. All files are infected. Threat level…HIGH, and Danger” were bombarding my eyes.

        So recognizing my limits as not being a technologically evolved person, I called a techie friend of mine.  We were on the phone for about 20 minutes, during which I felt completely inadequate and just plain dumb.  After talking me through the proper channels of troubleshooting, my friend finally said, “Jennifer, there’s nothing more I can do.  You’ll just have to get some new anti-virus software to get to the root of the problem.”

        We discussed my options of software and the prices involved.  So with wallet in hand and a plan in mind, I headed out in search of a solution.  When I got to Staples I noticed the huge selection of available anti-virus software.  Wow! My friend wasn’t kidding.  There is a lot to choose from.  I’m so glad I had his recommendation.  Of course, it was the most expensive so I spent a while reading all of the boxes.  Every other product seemed to deliver about the same results.  However, what my friend suggested was the most comprehensive.  I made my purchase and headed home.

        It took a short while to install and fix all of my computer woes.  Apparently, over 3300 viruses with about the same number of infected files were found. (Hmm… maybe my quick fixes of internet freebies didn’t take care of my past problems at all.)  Finally, my computer was healthy again. 

        Now, every time I turn on my computer, I see the welcoming sight of my anti-virus shield and I know it is working.  Occasionally, it will detect a small problem or minor threat, let me know that I need to run a clean-up, and go to work fixing it.  It’s simple, fast, and effective.  In fact, I think those three words may have been on the box.

        Anyway…one morning this summer, I headed out to my porch for coffee with God.  On this day my heart was particularly heavy with a bunch of negative feelings and some nagging, self-defeating thoughts.  Some were leftovers from a stressful week.  Some were rooted in concern for my brother in Afghanistan.  And some were just simply overwhelming thoughts of all I needed to get done before heading back to school.  So as I began to pray, the Holy Spirit brought a verse to mind…”Create a clean heart in me O God and renew a right spirit within me…”.

        While I was praying, laying out all my woes before the Lord and offering up my pitiful, broken self with all its annoying glitches to Him, I had a flash of a thought about my Norton Anti-Virus. (That may sound a bit irreverent but I’ve come to realize that God always approaches us in a way we can understand Him.  For me its analogies, so ride this one out with me please.)  The Holy Spirit brought to my mind the impressions I had of my software – simple, fast, and effective.  Actually, God and Norton have more in common than I thought.

        Let’s see- simple. Well, being computer ignorant, even I could figure out the software.  Not a lot of technical jargon was involved at all.  The same goes for God.  We don’t have to approach God with a storehouse of biblical knowledge- just an honest heart.  Tell Him what’s bothering you.  Talk to Him like you would your dad- honestly, simply and with respect.

        Fast- well considering the amount of infection, the Norton was very efficient- much more so than the internet freebies.  How many times in our lives do we search for a quick fix in the wrong place only to realize that the best answer was right in front of us?  I could have saved my computer and myself a lot of heartache if I had installed the right software from the beginning.  Think of the time I could have saved from ever being lost.

        Effective- like my Norton offering a comprehensive package, God does too.  I like to think about what God does for us as a 2 for 1 deal.  If we confess our sins, (That’s 1 on our part) He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (That’s the 2 on His part.)

        As Christians we have our own anti-virus software installed from the moment we are saved.  Think of it as the Holy Spirit 3.0.  It’s always in place, always scanning for problems to bring to our attention, and always helping us get rid of the junk.  So today, I encourage you to let the Holy Spirit run a clean-up.

Accept No Substitutes

                Don’t you just hate it when you crave something terribly and it’s nowhere to be found?  It’s all you can think about….this craving that gnaws on your insides diverting your attention away from the task at hand.  For instance, one day I really wanted a good piece of chocolate.  I could just imagine its rich, creamy goodness melting over my taste buds and sliding down the back of my throat.  (My mouth is watering now just thinking about it.)  I went to where I keep my stash, out of the sight and reach of little boys, to be sorely disappointed.  No Dove dark chocolate squares! (Actually, I think the oldest son has located my stash.)  Oh, there was chocolate in my hiding place but not the really good stuff.  Now, I don’t want to knock the other candy makers so let’s just say I had a fun sized little bar of creamy nougat, caramel and milk chocolate.  Well, I ate that one rather quickly and they were just those minuscule fun size ones.  (Really I wonder about those….fun for who?)  Any how….quickly I polished off another.  You know, my craving still wasn’t fulfilled so I ate just one more.  After my little foray into the chocolate stash, my yearning was a small bit abated but not completely satisfied.  Still I desired the real thing.  And what’s a chocolate craving girl to do with an opened bag of candy?  Yep, eat just one more.  Ok now, four fun size bars later I was beginning to feel a bit queasy.  This simply wasn’t doing the trick at all and now heaped on top was the guilt and condemnation that comes with scarfing down empty calories.  The funny thing is that years ago, before I ever tasted the first mouth-watering delight that is Dove dark chocolate, I was entirely satisfied with cheaper fun size candy bars.  Dove has ruined most other candy for me.  I still do enjoy a good M&M from time to time but my heart longs for Dove.   

                I can also recall another time when a craving presented itself.  I had been seeing someone and the relationship was over.  My heart was still tender over missing my friend.  I happened to be in a department store near the fragrance counter.  I glanced over… Actually, you know what? I’m going to stop right there and be totally real and transparent… I was hawking out his particular cologne so I could just smell him one more time.  I furtively looked around to see if anyone was looking before taking the top off the bottle and inhaling as deeply as possible.  For a split second, with tears leaking out of the corners of my eyes, I could smell him.  Then before an associate could ask to help me or call security, I hurried out of the store.  Strangely enough, that experience left me queasy as well.  It was just a poor substitute for the original.  It only represented a portion of what I desired.  Again I was left wanting more.

                The other morning as I was having my quiet time, I was working through my devotional book.  My world was quiet and I was just reading bits of Scripture and moving along page by page.  I finished one day’s worth and still the house was quiet so I continued onto another day.  I was feeling really good about myself and the amount I was covering.  Before I knew it, I’d worked through the material that was designated for four days.  I was beginning to mentally pat myself on the back when I realized that I was almost in a frenzy.  I was taking in the material, hungry for more truth, more God, when the Holy Spirit made a connection for me.  Here I was again trying to quench a desire with just a substitute.  Please don’t misunderstand.  I’m not downing devotional books at all.  They really can be an excellent resource to get to know God.  Actually, one day I’d like to write one, Lord willing.  What I realized is that like my true desire for good chocolate can only be quenched with Dove dark chocolate, my burning desire for Truth can only be extinguished by the Word of God.  That alone is the only option. I can spend all of the time in the world reading specific tidbits of Scripture and filling in the blanks in little books but until I spend intimate time with Him in His Word, I will always hunger for more.  Like the chocolate fix and the fragrance fix, the devotional book for me is a fix.  It works for a while but not nearly as good as the real thing.  Time spent with Him, the real Him and His Word is the best.  I leave my time with Him only wanting more of the same, not something else.  Today I want to encourage you to accept no substitutes.  Accept only His best.

OK Lord, I'm Delighted Already!

On the wall of my college dorm, I had a cute poster of a little bear skipping through a flower-filled meadow with Psalm 37:4 on it. “Delight thyself in the Lord and He will give thee the desires of thy heart.” What a promise! In other words, to my college-aged mind…”Be good, love God and He will give you what you want!”


Well, being good and loving God took some work and I was a busy girl. I went to church, prayed, coordinated a tutoring program between my college and a local housing project, worked in a soup kitchen once a month, babysat the preacher’s kids, volunteered several days a week for a year in a nursing home, didn’t litter….basically I tried to save my little part of the planet for Jesus.


Let me stop here with my resume of good deeds (especially since I now know that my righteous acts are like filthy rags) and tell you my sole motivation. Like a lot of good southern girls my age at that time, a huge but secret goal for college attendance was not to get a B.S. degree but to get a Mrs. degree.


In college I dated many nice boys and a few not-so-nice ones during my four years there, but God never seemed to bring “the one.” The first year after graduation brought countless weddings and about 7 ugly bridesmaid dresses (In fact, my mother’s attic still probably has that heap of ugly taffeta in a corner.). Invitations, birdseed and watered down punch in fellowship halls weren’t the only things that those weddings brought with them. They also brought a sense of desperation and a bit of resentment towards God. Where was my Mr. Right? Why didn’t God live up to His end of the bargain? I had lived up to my end, hadn’t I?


Let’s switch tracks here- the other day I had one of my most precious students ask me if he could help me clean up and do stuff while waiting on his bus. I agreed and I’ve got to tell you, that 6 year old boy was a dynamo. He collected pencils for me, picked up trash and pushed chairs under. He did everything I asked and even suggested other things he could do. He had the idea to stamp the date for the next day’s math journal entry in all 21 notebooks. He passed out papers and even straightened a few on my desk! He was an absolute delight! He was finishing all this work when his bus was called. Before he walked out, he came up to me and said, “Teacher, since I’ve been so good today and have done all of this extra work, don’t you have a prize for me?” I must admit, that rubbed me the wrong way a little. Here I thought this sweet, precious child was doing all of these things out of a pure motivation with love for me and his desire to serve me. Actually, he may or may not have felt that way a little but all my heart and mind heard was…”I’ve done all of this for you so what are you gonna give me?” Wow! How many times in my life have I approached God the same way? How many times does God shake His head and feel a little bit grieved?


I would like to say that through the years I have changed my interpretation of Psalm 37:4. On days when my flesh takes over I still have a tendency to list my good deeds and whine before the Lord with the “why nots and the why me’s”? I have done a little studying though about what it means to be delighted in the Lord. Between the Bible, the dictionary and the guidance of the Holy Spirit this is what I’ve come up with…


A woman who delights herself in the Lord is someone who….


*desires to know Him more each day


*finds peace, rest, and comfort in His presence


*carries that blessed assurance of His presence with her in all circumstances


*trusts in His sovereignty and love for her


*treasures His Word and ponders its applications to her life


*finds joy in doing His will






For me, I find that the more I delight myself in Him; He does give me the desires of my heart. The funny thing is- those desires aren’t what I always thought they were. He surprised me with a manifestation of His Word in Jeremiah 24:7…”I will give you a heart to know Me…” So instead of treating the command to “delight myself in the Lord” as a hoop that must be jumped through to win the prize, I’m realizing that delighting myself in Him is the prize. It’s become my desire. Did I do it? No, not at all. I asked Him to help me make it that way. Honestly, in my life it’s one of the prayers that He’s answered the fastest.


So today I encourage you to spend some time delighting in the presence of your Lord. I can promise He will give you the desires of your heart and more.

Best Laid Plans and Crazy Quilts...

Hello, my name is Jennifer and I am a plan-aholic…


For my whole life I have been a planner by nature and it is exhausting. I’m not talking about those with a 5 year plan or an extensive retirement plan. I mean that I plan things that other people don’t even consider. For instance, when I sit down to do a scrapbook page I take into account the number of photos to be included, the amount of negative space, tactile and visual textures, the mood I want conveyed through color, visual triangles and all sorts of things that mean nothing to anyone but me. Also, I used to plan my family’s menu a month at a time. I even had a particular day of the week for a certain type of entrée. For example, Monday was ground beef, Tuesday was chicken…etc. And I wrote grocery lists in the order that those items appear in the store. (I know that I will run into cereal before I get to the pasta aisle.) Additionally, by Thanksgiving I have a list of everyone that I intend to buy for and the Christmas gift that they will receive from me. Even as I sit to write this, I have an outline in my mind. These are things that I actually do. Truthfully, I can do them well.


In my heart of hearts, I also had a pretty detailed plan for my life. After college, I would marry the man of my dreams, have a houseful of beautiful children-preferably noisy little boys, have a yellow Lab outside that liked to fetch and would lie down at my feet while I read, teach school, go to church together every Sunday, play ball in the yard, have a cookie jar with only homemade cookies on my kitchen counter, keep an immaculate house, have flowers growing in my yard, have a home where friends were welcome and comfortable, laugh every day, live and love well. For a while, things went according to plan and life was good. Or was it?


Please don’t misunderstand. I would have happily continued down my life’s path without reservation. I adored my life, even with its daily frustrations and daily-ness. There’s something to be said for structure and predictability. Both provide a sense of comfort in a world full of harsh and unexpected realities. But what I’d like to talk about is when your best laid plans crash into that harsh, unexpected wall of reality. What happens to the planner at the helm of that wreckage? What can you do when not only has your plan been altered, but what remains has actually become something you no longer recognize?


I’m finding that a change in plans for the course of your life involves a lot of letting go. For me that is not easy. My plans have always been like a security blanket- Something to cushion the blows of the world and provide a feeling of warmth and order. Not many are willing to give that security up without a fight. So I’m speaking as someone who held on as tightly as possible while the shreds of that blanket were ripped away and all that was left were strings and scraps trailing from my fingers and pooling on the floor.


When the fabric of your life is in a pile of tattered plans and dreams pooling on the floor what can you do?


Before we look to the Word of God to answer that, I want to tell you what not to do. First of all, band-aids do not work. When my hopes and dreams were shattered, I was looking for a quick fix. In my world, a quick fix was trying to repair a marriage that was irreversibly broken. I’m not saying that all marriages are broken beyond repair. After all, the Lord is also known as the Great Physician and He can heal us of all our diseases be they physical, relational or otherwise. However, in the terms of a broken relationship, both parties have to be willing to do whatever it takes to allow God to make the necessary repairs. Both people have to be totally sold out to the cause of Christ and the end result in order for this to work. My band-aid was jumping back in when I heard the first few apologetic words and didn’t hesitate to make sure that repentant actions would follow. The Bible tells us to “test the spirits.” I didn’t. I simply acted based on what I thought was an answer to prayer. If nothing here resonates with you, please allow just this one truth to sink in…a band-aid only helps for a moment. It is not a permanent solution.


After my band-aid plan went awry, I decided to pick up the pieces and pull out the old Singer. Surely a crafty girl like me can take these rags and sew them back just like they used to be. Even with my best attempts, it was a shoddy representation of the original that may have existed only in my mind. The edges didn’t match up anymore. They were too jagged- shredded even. In real life that looked like pretending we were the same family, allowing someone undeserving full access to my heart and home once again. It meant allowing my children to see a mom and dad being affectionate when no actual changes had been made at the heart and character level. In short, it was a blanket of destruction sewn together with a thread of deceit.


This is where God stepped in. Blessedly, I serve a God who doesn’t want me to settle for mediocrity in any area of my life. He offers a new plan, a new way of thinking, a new dream. Do I know what it is? No, absolutely not. Does that frustrate me? Yes, only about a few hundred times a day. Letting go of planning is a toughie for me. But when it happens, it can be a beautiful thing.


Let me digress for just a minute, a quick illustration is needed here. Several years ago, I went on a trip to NYC. A travel agent was in charge. We were herded from restaurant to church to landmark to Broadway play to park…. You get the picture. Not once did I have to plan a thing. I simply enjoyed the trip. I saw things I would have missed if I’d planned it. I experienced things from a different perspective. I had fun that I may not have had otherwise. It was a welcome relief not being the one in charge of planning. I’m very thankful for that memory. It serves as a reminder that sometimes it is better to be a feather and just float with the wind of someone else’s plan, especially if that someone is the expert. For me, that expert is the Lord and I want to go where He wills me to.


So, does God have a plan for me? Most definitely. How do I know? In Jeremiah 29:11 He tells me so. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for peace and not evil, to give you a future and a hope.” For now, for me, embedding that Truth in my mind and life has to become my plan. Am I good at it? Nope, not always.


Now being a crafty, creative, planner kind of girl, I’ve always been fascinated by the design and planning of quilts. It is an amazing process when all of those little scraps of fabric come together to make such a beautiful work of art. My favorite pattern was always the double wedding ring. I love the conjoined circles and flow of the pattern. It is very precise and I enjoyed the predictability of it. However my tastes have changed, with experience comes a little bit of wisdom. I’m learning to value the random- the not so perfect parts of life. I’m beginning to appreciate the quilts of old, the crazy quilts, that were made out of necessity and using what was on hand- a bit from an old baby dress, a piece of a favorite t-shirt, part of a blanket, a scrap of an old tablecloth. Each piece is a reminder of a bit of life. I’m finding that the random scraps of our lives, if sewn by the hand of God, do create a beautiful piece. What may appear to be a strange jagged edge piece up close, might actually enable the finished product to be exquisite. He knows what pieces to put where. Today, I want to encourage you to trust Him with your tattered plans and dreams. He can do a much better job than you’ll ever be able to. The end result will be a beautiful piece of work that was planned by a Master.